So, about my last post . I’ll be honest…..it left me with a vulnerability hangover a couple of days after I hit that publish tab. For real, I was like “WHAT DID I JUST DO? Can I go and delete the post? Nah, I’ll leave it. But wait! I shared WAY too much and people are going to think I’m SO WEIRD! I’m so confused! I need some chocolate.”
But. Then I came to my senses and thought, “You know what, girl? You did a good thing. You wrote that post for you. You shared your story because you needed to and you did it as a celebration of getting through that tough time in your life. You did it as a celebration of YOU.” And I feel good about that.
I wasn’t expecting anyone to read it as I don’t blog a lot (which I plan on changing this year) but I needed to write out some things and I thought, I’ll just do it here. BUT people did read it and I got so many lovely comments from it, via email, text and through the blog.
And you know what?
We are all more alike than we are different. Like I said, people go through crap. Life is hard sometimes. People need to be supported, thought of and encouraged. And I hope that, through that post, you see me. And know that I want to see you. I want to be there for you, I want to encourage you, and I want to support you. I want to share my story and if it causes one person to say “I feel the same way”, then that vulnerability hangover is totally worth it. So, thanks for reading that. I got over the hangover in a couple of days and now I feel SO good about what I shared.
Before I continue, I want to say thank you to those that reached out and shared words of encouragement and love with me…..It was like a big hug and I loved it. I appreciate you.
Moving on, I want to share my word of the year with you. I’m super excited about this word! I told you what it was last week but I wanted to go into a little bit more detail on it. I’m still gently moving into this new year with ease, grace and intention and I’ve been enjoying that process of dissecting what I want my year to look like and what I want to accomplish over the course of 2017. I have a journal that I’ve been writing in and I enjoy the deliberate slowing down and thinking that it has forced me to do instead of diving right in and possibly losing momentum before the end of the month. We’ve all been there!
So, my word is PURPOSE. I started with looking up the definition of this word and this is what I found:
Now. I sat with this definition for about a week and looked at it from all sides to see how it would fit into my plans for 2017. I LOVE the definition….especially “what something is used for” and “the reason something exists”…. I got chills when I read this because this is something that I have been thinking about over the last two years, personally, and I am looking for my own purpose and what I am to contribute to the world. I know that I was put here 41 years ago for a reason and I am determined to live out that purpose, on purpose, this year. Yes, I am a wife and a mother, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a friend. But who am I to myself? I didn’t grow up with the belief that I can do or be anything. A lot of my childhood, I grew up being told what to do and living up to very high expectations that didn’t really allow me to figure out what I want. So I am teaching myself how to do that now. Better late than never, right?
So, I started with writing down some goals, writing out a “Why” Statement (if you know your WHY, you can make the HOW possible) and writing my “Personal Mission” Statement. And to follow through on all of those, I need to focus on purpose. Things just aren’t going to happen because I wish them to. I have to go out there and purposely do things that will bring my plans into reality. In the mornings now, I wake up and know that I am aiming at my WHY and seeing it written out makes me so excited to get started on the day. People, this never happened before. Ever. I’d get up and go through the motions of my day but at the end, was like “What am I doing for me? Why am I doing what I am doing?” My Personal Mission statement is always in the front of my mind now and it’s my guide on how to go about my day….even down to the most basic thing, like working out. I make a point to schedule in my self care. I make a point to put my phone down and listen to my kids tell me about their day. I am being mindful of what I am reading and watching so that I don’t fill my head and heart with anxiety.
I’m doing these things on PURPOSE to create a life that I love. Like, I want to be in love with my life. Now, my life is pretty fabulous. I have an awesome family, a home that is warm and cozy, my kids are well adjusted and happy, my husband is my best friend and I’m still crazy in love with him even after seeing his face nearly everyday for the past 23 years, I have an amazing group of friends, I get to travel to awesome places….I mean, I can’t complain. BUT. I want to upgrade. I want to live up to my FULL potential and not just go through the motions, you know? And there is nothing wrong with that. I thought I had to be happy with what I have because what I have is so good. But, it’s ok to want more, to want to be more.